We live in a day and age where technological advancements have become our way of life and way we stay connected to our associates, friends, family, and the world as we know it. We stay plugged into The Matrix of social media accepting the blue pill while the red pill becomes further outside of our thought process. We can be who we want to be, say what we want to say, do what we want to do, and display it for the world to create their own idea, judgment or narrative of who we are or we portray ourselves to be.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m an advocate and avid user of social media and believe it’s a powerful tool for expanding your business and networking. But what happens when we allow the shares, likes or dislikes on social media to become the thing that defines or affirms us in our everyday lives?
In my studies of sociology, there’s a theory known as “Self-Fulfilling Prophecy” that I was fascinated with. Sociologist Robert Merton a social scientist who created the theory and phrase “self-fulfilling prophecy” believed that it was “A false definition of the situation evoking a new behavior which makes the originally false conception become true.” (Merton, 1968, p. 477) This statement means that the belief system(s) we adopt as true or as our reality can and usually will become a part of our behavior or habits we exemplify.
If a child grew up with parents or leaders in their lives who told them they would never amount to anything or were worthless consistently, that child would most likely live their lives in that fashion if they believed it were true. On the flip side, if the same child had positive reinforcements or affirmation growing up; you are great, you can do it, you can be who you want to be, the sky is only the beginning for you, and adopts that belief system, they will most likely live their lives in that manner, looking and moving towards positive outcomes.
Of course there are variables or outside influences that can impact our behavior or way of life in a negative manner as well: loss of loved ones, abusive relationships, broken homes, violence within the community, racism, social injustices to name a few. But even in the midst of a negative situation, we can have a positive outlook and outcome if we speak and move towards that desired outcome or goal consistently.
I’m a firm believer in the biblical principle that “words kill or give life, they’re either poison or fruit, we choose” (MSG, Proverbs 18:21). I also believe that we can obtain our desired goals or outcomes if we speak it, prepare for it, and move towards them consistently. We’ve all dealt with criticism, naysayers, negative feedback, and people who just hated on us just because they wanted to. And though it doesn’t feel good, that could be evidence we’re on the right path regarding our life choices and career.
When we look back over our lives, we can see the times when we didn’t let negative situations stop us from reaching our goals, or leading our family or teams to positive outcomes. Keep it up! Because there will be more negativity we’ll have to fight through as long as we’re trying to do something positive and make an impact with our lives. Having the #1 team in my department when it came to stats, I used 2 key elements in my leadership style that proved to be successful:
- 1. Consistent affirmation is a must.
- 2. Count the wins even when there’s losses.
I was taught this approach by great leaders who made an impact in my life growing up and in my career overall. Though I was hard on my team when it came to not meeting our goals initially (to keep pressure on them to grow), I changed up my approach and realized that positive reinforcement and counting the wins even when there’s losses, was the effective and most important factor in our continued success within the program.
Leaders, if we take care of our people they will take care of us, bottom line. You may have challenging team members to deal with, but keep speaking life! Provide feedback and highlight the good, weed out the bad, and encourage/highlight the great road ahead of them. You’ll find that this will yield great results regarding your teams growth and overall success.
So I’ll leave you with this saying… If we sow a thought, we’ll reap an action, if we sow an action, we’ll reap a habit, if we sow a habit, we’ll reap a character, if we sow a character we’ll reap a destiny, whether good or bad (Ralph Waldo Emerson). Keep sowing positivity in your life and the lives of those you impact and see how far the rabbit hole goes.
Not Your Average Boss 